Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I've been having a ton of anxiety lately.  I'm not sure if its because I know Brian is leaving soon or just a huge combination of things.  I've always been a nervous wreck so all these big things happening aren't helping my nerves.

Yesterday while changing Wes' diaper yesterday morning, I decided to let him go diaper free to see how he would respond to peeing in the potty.  I didn't even have to tell him to go on the potty, he just did it on his own!  We're on day two and he's only had two accidents, both while wearing underwear.  He seems to know he has to go to the potty while he's naked.  So its working out.  He's two and a half now, so he's at a good age to be potty training.

I have absolutely no motivation to work out anymore.  I just feel so exhausted lately.  I just wonder where my thyroid levels are.  It is a just an insane game to get them to the right levels and the right medication.  Last I went, my levels were at .67 [June]...the last time I went in May, they were at 3.65.  I still have all the same symptoms of hypothyroidism, the only difference is that I haven't been gaining anymore weight.  When they upped my dosage to get to the point I am at now, I lost about 5lbs over the week.  I just really need to get back into running and weight lifting, no more excuses!

I'm hoping to lose at least 25lbs before Brian comes back from his next deployment.  If he leaves in the beginning of September, he won't be back until the beginning of January.  That's plenty of time I hope!  I have about 50lbs to lose, but I'll be happy to lose any weight.  I've just been thinking a lot about heart disease and I really want to be healthy enough to see my great grand children.  I want to live to be at least 90something, not die at the age of 60 or 70 because of heart disease.  We'll just see.  I just wish Kathy was here to workout with me.  It sucks being all alone away from EVERYONE.


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